Bloodthirsting Temptation, Hallucination of the Blind
navigate using the bars above . Press anything, everything .
Y O U R S T R U L Y
sixteen cheers for me
Perfunction like me is perfect
Life's awesome
But Im getting bored of singlity
Im Superman
Superiority sucks, it ruins people
So yeah, I suck .
I'm the kind of girl who ALWAYS have a bad hair day .
I stammer alot . I'm super clumsy . I zoned out, alot .
I'm short, thin, small-eyed but I have a talking tummy .
I get rejected, and it'll rain on my wedding day .
Yup, I'm low esteem (:
F I F T E E N
RANDOM FACTS
well, i am STRANGE
ONE Yo Freaks, I make it simple for you.
TWO If you think you're too superior, leave .
THREE I'm haywired, difficult, weird in my own way .
FOUR I think the best of everyone and the worst of everything .
FIVE I'm weak in many ways .
SIX I'm no bitch but I can act as one .
SEVEN I'm no gangster but I can along with them .
EIGHT All I want to do now is partyy .
NINE All I want is to see a bit of light in the end of the day .
TEN I can't make it Farah, Ilah, Yati, Yuyul, Mom, Dad, Ari, AinaJ, Kyna .
ELEVEN &I love Afa, Ina, Epul, Rad, Anoi, Adah & alot more .
TWELVE And definitely, I'm thankful that I've found my bitch .
THIRTEEN No rules, just have courtesy alright (:
FOURTEEN Gossip, label all you want about me .
FIFTEEN But remember you're still on my blog page, bitch (:
T O D O L I S T
this should be useful
Work .
Enjoy .
Smoke .
Drink .
Fly .
Get a proper boyfriend .
B I T C H F I T S
yakkity yak yak
Sanggupkah bersabar .
12:27 AM - Monday, February 23, 2009
Here goes a post, about a new person in my life who've taken so much space in my life and heart, Mr Anak Rahman (:We've met before 2 years ago, but I've never paid any attention to him . He was just a typical matrep . And I saw nothing in him . And then a year went by, and by fate, We met again at my LepakCrew's pit . He was cute and look so timid beside his friend . He wouldn't look me in my face while talking to him . When I introduced them to my friends, my friends were attracted to his handsome friends, and I wasn't attracted to neither , at that point of time . But he was attracted to my friend . So suddenly I heard from my friend who's contacting his friend that he asked for my number to catch up with each other, I guess . And one day, we were in a online conversation with his friend, I called him an asshole and he called me awesome . Yes, I know he's silly . And then, we chatted every night online and on the phone . And we meet often . I ended my days with hearing his voice . I didn't know until one day, I didn't went online or called him, and then I knew he meant something .The first time we met, it was 6.30 in the morning . He was supposed to send me to work . I was 15 mins late and I was super worried he left, but he was there sitting at the bustop, with his laptop and blue shirt and jeans , smiling . We then went to Bedok Interchange and sat at Skatepark as I didn't want to have breakfast, we watched old people doing Taichi and mimicked them . His laughter made me laugh, it's stupid . We got along really well, and it's a wonder why I didn't talk to him a year back, ohh ya, he was someone's boyfriend . And he sent me off to work . I walked to my workplace, thinking about him . At that point, I thought he was just a friend . But looking back, I smiled all the way and now I know the more I knew about him, the more I fall for him .I brought him to meet my friends, and my friends like him and that don't normally happen . Soon, I always bring him along to my friend's crib for movie marathon and he was my pillow for horror movies . And I felt so comfortable with him and I don't know why . I wasn't normally like that with guys . And then I realise he wasn't like those other guys . We drank together and I got drunk . He took care of me and I sent him to the bustop . He hugged me and I walked back , and finally realised he did hug me, and I smile all the way back . Now I know, without him, I would have never felt this way .We talked on the phone almost every night, and usually I have to wait for him to sleep . He would ask me to sing, to make stupid cartoon voices or whatever . He so ubberly cute when he's sleepy . I could have mouth cramps, cause of too much smiling and he would have to be blamed . Once, he asked me to express my feelings and say sweet things about him until he falls asleep . And normally in his sleepy mood, he would forget what I say the very next day . So I did, and one point of time he said, "Damn aina, you're making me smile." If only he knew how embarrassed I was telling him about my heart, and if only he knew how I smiled knowing I'm the reason he's smiling . And when he fell sleep on the phone each night, I would whisper that I love him . And then I knew, I'll never get bored of him no matter how many decades I have to entertain him .Once he said to me, he isn't boyfriend material type . I just disagree, I wish I could have shown or told him how much he fits as a boyfriend . I wish he could see himself through my SEPET eyes . He thinks he knows how I feel about him, but he knows only 1/4 of it . And please stay that way . When a girl likes a guy, she's bound to hate certain things about him . But I love everything about him . When I start off with a guy as friends, I would never fall for him, but I'm head over heels for him . I've never wait for a guy who doesn't like me, but I can't help it . I'm normally rude to guys, but not with him . He's changing the nature of things in my life, but I like it .
His laughter is errrr indescribable . His way of talking is more like draggy2, mat ganja and my friends complained about not understanding what the fuck he's saying, but I understand somehow . His way of explaining is not very useful . He admits that he's ego . He's smart . He's a nice and friendly guy . He's weird in very way . He's not ready for a relationship . He's turning gay cause he lost interest in girls .He's a heavy sleeper and he's busy and we're not meeting that often . He mumbles in his sleeps . But no matter what, I know he's worth the wait . I know girls aren't suppose to wait for a guy, but I'll wait while trying to get rid of this feelings cause I don't want it to be a burden for him . Neither, I want it to be one sided love . So I shall be there for him as long as he still needs it . So let time decide shall we while I wait . We don;t know anything for sure, but two facts, we've already know I love him and he deserve better .
Labels: Bummed; with you, my love, my strength .
Awesome-ness
2:02 AM - Saturday, February 21, 2009
WITH OR WITHOUT BAMBAM, MYRA PEBBLES ON FIRE .
AND THIS IS US CHECKING OUT AFA THE PHOTOGRAPHER'S BUTT CAUSE SHE WAS SITTING SO SEXILY WHILE TAKING OUR PHOTO
Girlfriends, girlfriends are the cure, baby (:
Ohh yesterday, girlfriends day out ~ We went sheesha-ing at heavenly boys paradise, El Sheikh (: Hahaha, lemme tell you I regret not working anymore cause firstly, no more entertaining Farah at work . And secondly, since I'm not at work anymore, Farah's been talking not much there so she save all her merepek-ness for me . Imagine ah, met her at 2.30 , layanlah seme dier nye merepek . TAK STOP KAU TAWU ! it went on and on and on . For 3 hours, it was only us, ubberly fun I tell you ! And met Ina and Afa, ingatkan dah save from Farah, skali dier continue, aim aku sorang . Gy makan pon, dier habes last pasal bobal2 while we eat ! Then I say to Ina and Afa, "Kalau Farah buka mulot jek kan, kalau speech dier more than 5 secs, kite buat bodo." HAHAHA ! But please Farah, tqmo stop talking, cause she made me laugh the whole day (: Love you babe (:
Then proceed gy El-Sheikh . Si Afa standard, makan lagy . And kite maen card, but it was sorta uncomfortable cause one minahrep sitting in front of us kept staring at uh, dier mokmok taw, tgk kite macam kite dinner g2 . And then I knew abg Rahmat and Toad, kawan Raphie working there . And then tetibe, we received drinks, free drinks, on the house (: And then me and Afa went down, gy toliet . Skali Afa gy toliet suroh aku tunggu pat luar, tak tahan siot . Sekali, my boyfriend la kan, the worker there , smiled and me and point to the handicap toliet, dier sendiri tak tahan but let me use it first . Cute kape dier, stammer2, tersengih2 . " Pakai dulu lah . Err, I can still hold it, I think, can can . Go on la, baek2 taw . Err, licin taw ." He's a shy boy, I like it (: Thanks Afa for going in first, first conversation with my boyfriend . Nyahahahaah~ And then part nakk bayar bill, dorang cakap ader orang nak kenal2 la, jalan baek2 la, datang lagy la . (:Pat El Sheikh though, ader orang bobal world, and Farah and me quieten down abit, skali start balek bising . Afa balek lambat for us *huggies* Then kite gossip about their guys and Raphie(he's not technically my boyfriend, dope !) . By the way, blog readers, we're not really into those guys at El Sheikh, just being cheeky alright . IT IS A GIRLFRIEND DAY OUT . So result of the day, alot of giggles and laughters and each of us got a boyfriend working at El Sheikh, but stiel, mine is the best (:And, there goes my salam terakhir to the old LepakCrew cause things got so bad between us . I dowan me and Farah to be used and others to be invovled, and Im not comfortable having to sneaking around to meet y'all and ended up having to use our name to get out of trouble okay . I don't mind, but it's making things so hard for y'all . It's hard to break apart from half of my life, but I think it should happen before my other half crush too .AND LASTLY, I LOVE FARAH, AFA, ILAH, YUYUL, I guess INA too (: And of course, MR FIDO (urgh frigging name)Labels: and let go of what I used to own ., Bummed; Treasure what I have
I'll take my chances
12:32 AM - Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So yesterday, I did my every day routine which I've never do for a long time . Kimek, aku jumpe Ilah (: You know how much I used to complain about my every day routine being boring, but I realised I was lucky I had them every time . Everyday I woke up and I know my home phone would ring and I would hear Ilah's just-awoken-voice, and we'll ask each other to siap and go down to meet up . But things changed, and I can't complain cause it's my fault .So we went down, and I couldn't tell you how my heart thumps seeing her , maybe I missed her too much , maybe I wasn't being unfair, not wanting to tell my side of the story, maybe cause the fact that we've drifted so far apart, maybe just cause I felt like hugging her . Then she came nearer and she smiled at me cause tempat beli minom closed . She was beautiful la, I must say . Then standard, took my lighted ciggarette and smiled, and then I knew we couldn't be awkward . Yes, I haven't met her for long when I used to meet her everyday, but there wasn't a much BIG gap yesterday . So we went to Chai Chee, drank there (: had to go to and fro the toliet, hahaha ! Sekali rokok takde, dah sengket, beli angun kau . Hahaha , then we planned to go back Bedok around 3 or 4 . But we updated each other soo much that it was already 5 something . I must say, she still somehow seems like my big sister, the one who always look out for me . Even when we're far apart, she still keeps a look out, and know what I've been doing . And so, we went back Bedok Inter, met Ina in our drunkard stupor , and me and Ina sent Ilah to 88 cause she needs to go to Yati's crib . It was sad that we had to go behind their backs just to meet . Then Ina and Farah had to take care of me . Actually not really, I just lie down, singing2 for a while then I got up and talked to them and lepak rouine went by (:The five of us, Yati, Ilah, Aina, Nurul, Farah . Our friendship is so much different than others . It isn't something we expect you to comprehend . It doesn't break that easily . And if it does, there are always strings pulling us back . We're not just friends, or whatever those minahreps called themselves, we're more like a whole . Every thing that we do, it's a 'we' thing, not just an 'I' thing . Our company of friends gets bigger, but nothing beats the five of us . It will always be us . I don't know how to explain our bond . It's nothing that you think of, really . Don't even try to guess . Like Ilah said, "The four of you has owned a space in my heart and if you guys were to be gone, that place remains empty and no one can replace it, no matter who she or he is ."Labels: Bummed; Always back to the beginning .
Sweet gracious !
12:14 AM
So on Valentine .I was just wanting to go out . And you know how I never make early planning, unless it's a big event . And it didn't matter in the past, cause LepakCrews are always around . So, I called Afa and Ina , and I had to go to Afa's crib ! But I went to Chai Chee first, and awkward moment . Super awkward, and even weird that it's awkward cause we used to be like a family . But oh wells, then I went down to Afa's crib . Ina picked me up . Farah mestilah takde, datie date ! But Ina and Afa are attached , just that guys problems . SEMENYE SELINGKUH ! Hahahaha . Let me just say, Valentine wasn't much of a good one for the 3 of them . But it was okay for me, cause I don't celebrate V day this year, and cause ALL THE SINGLE LADIES ~So on Monday .Hmmm, I was supposed to meet Iqah and Ikah to go Far East, sekali Ikah paitao . Plan cancel so I met Afa and Ina who came down to Bedok cause Afa missed school times routine . WOOOWEEE~ Planning nak jumpe Scandal Keem, huhu . Sekali dier busy . So terserempak with the new Sec 4 . Afzhal Shafihhan Rahmat all . Hmm, slack for a while with them and AnoiBaby and AdahBaby came along (: Then sekali terserempak with Zepa and WanBelo . Then we Ina Shahfihhan and Afa went to Bedok Inter , terserempak again with Zepa Aban and Fian (: Sekali Zepa tegor daaaa, me and him pakai same colour baju , Hot Pink . Haiyoooo ~ Dah aku jadi geng tak waras dier ! Then kite went down to Tamp, to meet Afa's lepak people .Labels: Bummed; Dah macam sampah masyarakat laaa aku .
Poison and Spells .
8:45 AM - Sunday, February 15, 2009
Toast to life, even as it is .So, 2009 eyhh ?Have I mention how bad 2008 is that I can list out the good things that happened, cause it isn't so manyy ?Like, ; stopping my bad habits like skipping class and stuffs .; stopping addictions .; LepakCrews stayed through .; No men, no troubles .; I've met nice people, especially Muhamad Fido (:; etc . Okay many not little, but not much . 2009. Lets talk about SCHOOL LIFE! Pfft, thanks to Maths, I can't go Poly at all . And my parents won't let me go to ITE . So private Diploma or retake, I guess . And fuuuh, I was so fucked up I didnt even apply through JAE at all . Nie tak bley, tuh tak bley . Hidop aku apeee , nakk tengok aku dapat diploma kan . I know la my way through . It's my shit, so I'll handle it . Urgh .Now, moving on to FAMILY ! We're moving maybe to Sengkang . And I've been begging them to move to somewhere nearer cause it's so unfair . We've been moving, from Bedok North to Tampines to Eunos to Longvale and Longvale feels like home and I don't wish to be separated from familiar surroundings . Next, WORKING LIFE ! I've got fired . And I don't like depending all on my parents for money . So tomorrow going down to Far East, job briefing with atiK and atiQ . Haiyoyoyoyoyoyoyo .Now, moving on to SOCIAL LIFE ! *sighs* I don't wish to elaborate but let's just say LepakCrew is . . . . all just a sweet memory . I just don't know okay . I don't wish for it to happen, but it's time I pull through the shits I've got myself into . I mean, let they know themselves . I'm tired of doing explanations that won't do any good . But, I miss them .And it's been only two months .I'll dread the other ten months .BUT, no of course .I still have Afa, Ina, Rad, Epul and of course Farah and Raphie, yang tersayangs (:Labels: Bummed; I thank god cause I can't be w/o you two (:
Kudos
the idiot who spent forever on this skin
Pimped my blog
DancingSheep
