*Sulk and pout*
8:11 AM - Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm afraid this time butterflies don't fly so high .I'm super sick, I think I'm dying .I know, exaggerating but seriously !Mayn, I sound like a 5-year-old kid .
The sweetest thing is myy friends missing me in school .Even myy fearsome bully - Abbas .
Gawd, I am so missing alot in school .
Gossips, studies, gossips, notes, gossips .
But the un-sweetest things ARE 1stly: Not smoking =( wait thats good too, I wanted to stop . Okay so moving on2ndly: Slacking is not fun cause I'll end up troubling the others w this illnessES .3rdly: Medicine taste like sperms, yucks .4thly: I have to go back and forth to the doctor for the stupid oxygen mask, most of the time myyself cause it's the morning and myy friends are schooling and I just won't allow this someone to use this as a reason to skip school .5thly: The stupid oxygen mask is not only tiring and painful, but it made things worse . I was better on Monday, but on Tuesday after the session, things got worse . Breathing is so painful and sleeping is so uncomfortable . URGH URGH URGH !6thly: Affik scolded me and pinched myy ear ! Okay maybe it's myy fault . I wanted to smoke just to get rid of the pain . But he was sweet, he took care of me and send me anything I needed if I asked for it . He was going to send me porridge and redbull(which reminds me, he pinched me again for drinking that ) but I didn't want him to see me whining at home so I declined .
But overall, I'm thankful . My mama says this is a hint from God . A cure for stopping myy addiction as myy body is not getting used to it . I'm so not going back to it . Cause this cure is so painful that I'm not willing to go thru it once more PLUS it's so going to take everything in myy life .
Okay, now Affik is nagging bout how it's time to take the yucky medicine, and myy brother is sumbat-ing it into myy mouth . Wow, how lucky am I -__-
Off I go, wooowweee )X
Btw, to those who are close to me in school and have not seen me at all these days . YOU GUYS OWE ME A WEEK OR MAYBE MORE DAYS OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR MYY ABSENCE IN SCHOOL FOR SO LONG . DON'T THINK Y'ALL GET GET AWAY ! make that everyone in school . CAN'T WAIT (: AND I BET YOU GUYS CAN'T EITHER . YOU BETTER (:
Labels: Bummed; Sometimes guys and friends are at their best, when you're at your worst
Sometimes, one have to solve his own problems, alone .
10:09 AM - Friday, July 11, 2008
Here comes the roller-coaster ride, I am so not prepared .At least let me catch my breath, please .This is the real showdown .Ask me again why I don't trust myy own blood ASSHOLES (:
REGULAR BASIS ! Labels: Bummed; The worse it gets, the more I'm used to it thus the more I'm unhurt and unaffected
Confirmation, please / I beg you .
6:29 AM - Thursday, July 10, 2008
I apologize to both of you for being stuck in the between .I'm sorry for not being there, for throwing shit on your face when all you gave me was all I needed .AND I'm sorry that he wasn't there, that he repaid pretence to me, when I gave all .Mostly, I apologize to my own self for not giving myself a chance .I'm glad that I'm stronger, invulnerable .Showing I've gotten over the 9 months in a week .I'm loving this life, having the chance to breathe w/o being told I'm unabled .Finally, I'm letting me loving myself even when I'm already so weak .I'm hating the fact, that I'm not letting anyone control me , instructions .How I'm so generous physically, not mentally .I want to change my views, my ways and myy concentration .But , that would mean I'll still have to pretend , walking down the same dark alley .I am letting myself love you, but I'm not letting you love me .I know, I'm silly but one thing, this is not what I wanted .Who wouldn't want to be loved and happy ? It's hilarious how I can feel something that I don't want to .Yet, not being able to feel what I longed for .It's wonderful how I can love someone else after you .Yet it's sad that I can't stop relating him to you .And it's ever more sad, that I'm not happy that he's loving me .Cause I'm feel guilty, and used to being rejected .Labels: Bummed; How it is that everything I do is related to you even tying myy shoelaces
Aku nak sebat Nabilah (:
7:58 AM - Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I'm trying to mend a thing that is already so-nearly-perfect, that doesn't need any corrections .And I finally realized, I should correct myy own self, cause that is what makes this worse .I know giving up is the worst decision .STILL . . . I wonder if I walk out would be better .Baby, I can't deny that I think about you , and the fact that I miss you .Yet, I also can't deny that I worry about you more, and you just can't seem to understand why .Deeply in my heart; Not Over It .Don't ever ask me if I love my last one more .Cause you know the answer, and I'm still denying it, yet admitting that I love him . Labels: Bummed; Denial-ers needs psychological help.
Malacca trip got me tripping and thinking
11:45 PM - Sunday, July 6, 2008
alhamDULLILLAH (:
Baby I see you working hard .
I want to let you know I'm proud . Let you know that I admire what you do .
The more if I need to reassure you, my life would be purposeless without you .
If I want it , you got it .
When I ask you, you provide it . You inspire me to be better .You challenge me for the better .
Sit back and let me pour out my love letter . Let me help you .
What you want to eat boo ?
Let me feed you .
Whatever you desire, I'll aspire . Sing you a song . Turn The Game On .
I'll brush your hair .
Want a foot rub?
You want a manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy Let me cater to you .
Cause baby this is your time .
Do anything for my man .
Baby you blow me away .
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert, and so much more .
Anything you want just let me cater to you .
Inspire me from the heart , Can't nothing tear us apart .
You're all that I want in a man;Let me hold you in my arms .
I just want to take the stress away from you .
Making sure that I'm doing my part .
Boy is there something you need me to do . If you want it, I got it . Say the word , I will try it .
I know whatever I'm not fulfilling .
Another woman is willing .
I'm going to fulfill your mind and spirit . I promise you . I'll keep myself up . Remain the same chick
You fell in love with .
Baby I heard you, I'm here to serve you .
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy .
I want to give you my breath , my strength , my will to be here .
That's the least I can do , Let me cater to you
Through the good
The bad
The ups and the downs . I'll still be here for you . Cause you're beautiful . I love the way you are .
Fulfill your every desire .
Your wish is my command .
Your heart so pure .
Your love shines through .
The darkness we'll get through .
So much of me will be you . So much of me was him, now it's your turn .
What I gave to you, Im snatching it back to cater to him . I gave you the best I had , but I'm giving him better than what I gave you .
Labels: Bummed; I've made a change . It's in OUR hands now (:
Accidently in love .
3:39 AM - Friday, July 4, 2008
SWEETHEARTS, AINA IS OFF TO MALACCA FOR 4 DAYS !PS: I know, pathetic , youth day only sia . Myy mom kept changing plans, end up I'm going on Fri instead of Sat, and I had to cancel all plans w friends . Sorry babes , I'm going to fucking miss you guys . ILAH . FARAH . NURUL . YATI . AND AFA , AHMAD , EPUL , RAD ! ZAL (:Lastly, one word ; alham
DULILLAH ! =p
Labels: Bummed; I've got what I wanted, I'm bringing myself away for awhile . iMy boyyyy .
It's time to realise it will all get better in time
8:29 AM - Thursday, July 3, 2008
